Friday, October 5, 2012

                                          Aloyishous the Vicious  Fishious

Now it can be told, Reedy said.
"Now that you're retiring, I have a confession to make," he announced, loving the fact that he was suddenly the center of attention at my little newsroom goodbye party. "I killed your fish. Well, no, I actually saved its life."
Immediately a vision of Reedy giving a beta fish mouth-to-mouth CPR swam through my mind. It was a fun vision - Reedy kissing a fish. I smiled.
Tom Reedy is a friend of mine, but he's one of those friends you wonder about. He's like a bad child. He will do anything for attention, even dance a little sidestep walking down a hallway to the accompaniment of his own questionable whistling. People hate that, but I can't convince him of it.
He once worked with me at the DRC but now he's the public information officer at the Denton County Sheriff's Office.
"You remember that fish," he said. "You named it something stupid. You always name and assign personalities to things. And you used to talk to it all day."
It's true. I name everything. My car is named Moira. My daughter Christi and I named the possum that visits our back yard Punxsutawney Phil.
"Yes, his name was Aloyishous the Vicious Fishious," I said. "Aly for short. He was a great fish. He used to hang around and watch me all day. We had some great conversations."
Reedy was working on a Saturday along with city editor Matt Zabel. Reedy decided my fish's water was dirty and he elected to change it.
"I carried the vase into the break room. I was going to just tip it and let the water stream out and then fill it back without actually moving the fish," he explained.
I thought I knew where this was heading. The drain trap in the sink in the break room is missing.
"So I tipped it a little, and next thing I knew the fish went over the side and down the drain," he said. "I ran back into the newsroom and yelled at Zabel not to let anyone run water down that sink. And then I drove home and got some tools."
Reedy was back in a flash with everything he'd need from a pipe wrench to a plumber's grin. He unhooked the elbow pipe from under the sink and there was Aloyishous, swimming calmly in the bottom of the elbow.
"He was a little worse for wear," Reedy said. "His fins were a little ruffled. But other than that, he was fine. I saved him! I put him back in the vase and you never knew."
Actually, I did know, I told him, watching his face fall as expectant giggles rounded the room.
"Aloyishous told me on Monday," I jibbed. "And by the way, he said you're a lousy kisser."

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